Apr 23 2011

I think I shot the Easter Bunny

I had a recurring nightmare when my children were young. I used to dream that I forgot Christmas.

This ranged from dreaming I’d forgotten to put the Santa presents out, through to dreaming that I forgot Christmas all together. No decorations, no presents, no Christmas dinner. Nothing.

This is the ultimate nightmare for me because Christmas is a big deal.

Think the Griswalds.

I go over the top with decorations and Christmas lights, I buy too many presents and cook too much food. I still make the Christmas pudding from scratch, with threepences and sixpences.

I love it.

The tooth fairy on the other hand I forgot nearly every time. My poor kids used to wonder what was wrong with their teeth that the tooth fairy never wanted them.

And Easter? I nearly forgot that once as well.

Easter Sunday I woke very early, with a start. I think it penetrated my subconscious that I hadn’t done the Easter Bunny thing and that’s what woke me up.

The light was just starting to come in through the bedroom window and I started panicking. My children always woke up at the crack of dawn.

What would happen if they didn’t have Easter eggs? Like all kids, they knew what the day would (or should) bring.

So I got up quickly. Snuck into the first bedroom. Good, still asleep. Quick, leave the eggs next to the bed and get out.

Now for the next room.

Ah, all is quiet.  How lucky can I get?

Oops, not quite so lucky. I was just about to walk in the door when I heard them starting to talk to each other.

I did a quick u-turn and left the Easter eggs in the playroom.

They did wonder why the Easter Bunny didn’t come into their room, but there was no lasting damage.

Now for the first time in 22 years I’m not spending Easter with my children.

I am away with my partner on the farm. Shooting. And last night I think I shot the Easter Bunny.

We only saw one rabbit while we were out last night. And I killed it.

So if your kids wake up on Sunday and wonder why there aren’t any Easter eggs. Tell them it’s not that you forgot, it’s all my fault. I killed the Easter Bunny.

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